this is a wip for an idol centered section of this site, ill be posting fics, reviewing videos and songs, and talking about idol stuff in general :) ive been into kpop/jpop for about 3.5 years now, and into av idols for a very short but enlightening and fun time, and its been a big and pretty important part of my life, and this page will serve as a tribute to my past and future journey, my collecting, and my love and appreciation for idols!
bias list: park jiwon - fromis_9, jang wonyoung - IVE, kim minji + lee hyein - njz
im a member of the old kpop forum

41825 finally something! totally unexpected to get an intro video today, half forgotten that nagyungs new series would be starting today! i had a big smile on my face the whole way through the intro video; things still feel slightly subdued and slow but i can still feel that heightening excitement starting up again :) ive been pretty entranced by nagyung lately especially, and i feel grateful shes getting a chance to really start to shine!
ASND fromis_9 intro video and Super E Nagyung first video
its felt, lately, like im finally coming to accept being an idolota after years and years now. i feel this excitement blooming inside me ive been waiting for for a long time, and the acceptance coming after it! after crying about wonyoung recently, inducing my own strong feelings for her, afterwards i couldnt help but think "ahh, so this is really how this feels...". odd, emotional, a kind of uncomfortable desperation when you try and express how much an idol really really means to you because.. how can you! what are you gonna say! id want my feelings for my idols to burst from inside me like crazy, they cant come out any other subtle way.

4/16/25 its the beginning of a new month, and lots of stuff has been picking up lately. fromis_9 is slowly picking up activity, jiheons birthday is today, and i feel the rumblings of the comeback in two months already shaking me up in a great way :) jiwons new song for the pokemon OST was really great, and it makes me beyond happy that my bias is finally getting some personal attention! im definitely excited to see where shes going in particular, but the idea that shes gonna be in my life more strongly, and that the rest of the group is gonna be getting some more specialized attention. im pretty curious about ablume lately, and ive been trying to really get myself into their activities especially after the long wait to see them again! their new youtube content was great, and though i havent seen their documentary yet im really interested to and i like what ive seen. im still hoping and wishing for njz, and im glad theyre at least still posting online. thats all you can really hope for in the midst of their situation, im happy to just know theyre out there taking their much deserved rest

1/19/25 this'll be the first "content" type update to this page, a way of updating the page with what ive seen, how i feel, and what i want to do.
the new IVE comeback was announced recently, and after watching the trailer i think im definitely more excited for it than i was hearing about it from other people. isnt that really how kpop always feels? its hard to get a real grip on anything until youve dipped your fingers in yourself - which really perfectly encapsulates how that trailer felt; like dipping your finger into caramel. the typical IVE sweetness is there, and the heavy focus on the group dynamic is absolutely fantastic, exactly what i expect and love from them. their group IS their music, and im happy they know to push heavily on that before anything else. the mix of surrealism and more abstract conceptual art direction is really interesting too, and the captioned videos and vague group based story is compelling- reminiscent of old f(x) album concepts, with their heavy focus more on the entanglement of the group with the natural world- and how they are always together in every way, always sharing the same heart. the 'rebel heart' concept film was just as intriguing, and that heavy focus on more natural photography and story is definitely up my alley- in the same way the ive summer film or the either way teaser was. that natural feeling is a lot more native to ive than their more surreal and abstract direction in my opinion, and i hope they stick with it because thats really what id love to see out of them when the album actually releases.

the music video and rebel heart as a whole, was absolutely fantastic. its all i had been hoping for from them, and more; pulling together what makes each member really special into a message that really resonated with me and made me want to cry, and im sure that dam will break after a little more time to sit with it. the actual song was fantastic, really well constructed and resonating fully with a distinct IVE sound that i really love, that same kind of sound i adored from stuff like either way and off the record; two of my favorite songs from them. im really curious to watch performances now, as its not the kind of song i can really easily imagine being performed, which makes it all the more intriguing that this is their first release of the album comeback. the video was really beautiful, elegantly filmed and so well put together, giving everyone as much time as they needed to really shine properly and beautifully. the girls they picked for the video and its message of self acceptance were so cute and happy, and the overall message an ive video like that sends out is so fantastic - telling young asian girls theyre beautiful exactly as they are, and its the rest of the worlds problem, not theirs if theyre told otherwise. there was so much love and care put into the music video, i feel so appreciative of them and the work they did putting it out. ive been avoiding others reactions until i could gauge it myself, and im glad i did; i feel much more inclined to enjoy it than if i had done otherwise. im very excited for the actual comeback now, knowing that this is the backing behind it- and that the focus is on self acceptance which is one of my favorite kpop concepts - as elegantly as it was done with fromis_9's "unlock my world", which in my opinion is one of the absolute best kpop albums thats come out in past couple of years at all.

as im spending the night listening to kpop, i watched the side a video of the "cool with you" by newjeans, and it is really one of those videos as well that i think will stick with me for quite a long time. i hadnt seen it before, theres a lot of stuff i tend to miss anyways, but this video was so incredibly beautiful and well made i feel genuinely bad for missing out on it. one of my absolute favorite things about newjeans, and what pulled me back to them when i thought at first they werent a group i could really enjoy, was how much they play with their identity as idols, in marketing and music videos alike - especially in contrast with how natural the girls actually are and how clearly you can feel their humanity when you actually watch them. this video in particular, moreso than the ditto video i also love dearly, played with this idea even clearer than before.
though the actual concept in that video was intense and beautiful, i was incredibly interested in their position as a group watching over the woman, or as very clearly as i felt it, their position as the muses of her story; telling it without telling. i found it incredibly intriguing and their demeanor really interesting - it made me think about the other newjeans songs ive heard, like eta, with a premise like "this is someone elses story, a conversation youre overhearing, but its also ours, and yours", this cool with you video was similar in that sense. theyre communicating her story, and watching over it as well, a quintet of looming muses; unable to do anything but sing and wait for things to play out as they do.



coming back to the main story of the video, the imagery of cupid and psyche; and the angel falling in love with a human, is unbelievably gorgeous. the angel shedding her wings for the love of a human, and as the prescence of the muses at all indicates - this love is ultimately doomed, and always was. an angelic nature being loves downfall really fascinates me, as it should seem to be the thing that could keep it together; you are perfect beyond measure, but love is a flaw, and cant be tolerated in the slightest. the angel being permitted to live amongst humans, to soak in the rain naked if she wishes, but never to truly love - even if love is what an angel should be composed of in the first place. she cant even be seen at first anyways, the rain acting as her shed, but never truly giving her the satisfaction of human emotion she craves.